"smile"

True story: I say geesh its too darn cold in here. Coworker stands up and says rather loudly whew my girls are cold closing up her jacket. Everyone turns around like what did she just say. Another coworker said her girls are smiling, I said well you have to buy protective smile gear, never let them see the girls smile lol #suchanoutburstoflaughter

Declined!

True story: coworker sends me an email to check out an order which did not ship my response: the credit card declined you'll have to get another before it ships. coworkers response: F* maybe its because I didn't put his middle name in the system. Me: *_* and tilts head (typing) I don't think a middle name will decline a credit card?? #mortified

Bird flipper?!?!

True story: so I'm walking away from where my coworkers sit she says: what up piejac me: I throw up the peace sign (index and middle fingers) my other worker does the same except she forgot to use her index finger and starts apologizing frantically lol me: what happened as I didn't see it her: she shows me what she did lol sorry I still can't tell ya where I work lol

Are you hitting on me?

True story: so I walk in this am coworker says: gm you look nice in blue. Me: oh thanks. an hour later she says again this time standing over me: you really really look nice in blue. Me: I'm sorry are you "hitting on me?" Her response: no jacqueline I'm not bleepin gay #___________

What year are you in!

True story #2 client calls in and she needs an invoice after 10mins trying to find it I said: what's your fax? Her: ***-***-1352, whew 1352 was a good year! Me: I'm sorry her: I said 1352 was a good year me: blank look if you were here in 1352 who am I speaking to!!! #tooearlyforthis

2 Hours!!

True story: so I am responsible for a client who requires formatted "spreadsheets." A coworker says: Oh that's a piece a cake I do it all the time for my biggest client and it literally takes me 2hours" another coworker pulls me aside and says: "did she say 2hrs" is she crazy?? that's very long for a piece of cake? Me: well I just wanted her to hurry up and avoid her spitting in my face lol she has a tendency to SWT (spit while talking) #done.com

Bathroom break!

True story: coworker and I were discussing traffic her: girl it was bad it took me 2hrs to get from 30th st to childrens hospital and I had to go to the bathroom. Me: I jokingly said "you should've had a girl cup" lol her: no girl I pulled over got my depends out the trunk, my toliet paper and wipes and I put the depends under me and went to the bathroom. Me: *BLANK STARE*

Please wear a belt!

True story: so I get off the phone with a client and I turn around and see "butt cheeks" me: yoooo coworker: huh me: you flashed me pull your pants up him:oooooooooo I'm sorry it happens often me: witw *_*

Reply ALL!!

True story: I'm on the phone with a coworker and I sent out an email per our conversation. I tell her to respond and press "reply all" her: do I type it in the email or subject line? Me: NO! Hit reply all from the email I sent. Her: but what about the other people? Me: that's why your hitting "reply all" I haven't rec'd this email yet!! *_*

Girl Talk?!

GM true story: I walk in the office and instead of "gm" my coworker walks by me and says "you have skinny legs like me" *pause* #SECURITY!!!!!!

RAY?!

True story: coworker says I was watching the ray charles movie the other day me: umm hmm her: what's the name of it again me: "RAY" *_*

Oprah!

True story: dude @ work got a relocation position he said when he gets a gift card everybody gets a bagel I said no you have to say it the Oprah way "YOUR GETTING BAGELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLSSSSSS" hahahaha #imnext

lay off!

True story: so my coworkers asked "how much longer do you all have?" I say for? She's like omg 4 months/weeks/days. I said no for as in FOR? She replies oh so u don't know when, nope but I do know I'm booking a plane ticket somewhere to relax enjoying my #layoff

be honest!

True dating story: coworker-i get to rest didn't know who she was so I texted her girl: I'm here at the bar between 2 guys cw: looks over doesn't see her girl: texts him to ask what's taking him so long. Cw: decides to call girl, he sees her pick up and heads for the door. Girl: I thought u were here cw: umm who are girl: what do u mean cw: you don't look like the girl in your pic girl: that's me when I graduated college cw: your 43, 2kids later and 300pds #done.com

lip sync!

True story: so I'm coming out the ladies room and the workers are on the roof (hence its loud) my worker says hello so I lip sync hey how are you her: I can't hear you me: lol her: did I really fall for that? Hahaha

Lysol perhaps?

True story: so I'm about to go into the ladies stall and a coworker comes in yelling: whoa I got some spray for in here it stinks right start spraying: me: omg motioning.. I think its her in the other stall pointing her: spray on and walks out. When the lady left I cracked up...#lightamatch

I'm on the phone!

True story: so I'm the bathroom stall and decided to listen to my vm. When I came out the lady says to me: OMG, I'm hearing voices..did you hear that it was multiple voices me *blank stare*

Hii you doing?!

True story: its pride weekend in GA so my coworker tells me she wears a size 11 and couldn't get any shoes due to tranny festival me: huh her: girl this man asked for a size 13 uggs lady: sir you'll have to go to the men section man: omg I don't know what size I wear in mens I've never had to buy men shoes she said he had a complete melt down *pause*

Declined!

True story: so I get a call: hey can you tell me why this clients card declined? Me: perhaps the funds aren't available? Caller: well I didn't want to just call the client w/o a reason?? I'm sorry I'm not in the banking industry to make that judgment #furious